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There’s this slutty little piece of jerkoff monkey ass that me and a couple of my phone sex brat friends like to pass around (he’s like that slutty cheerleader who wants to get gangbanged by the whole varsity team, only he’s a dude, and he wants it in his ass and the brain instead of the pussy). The best part is…he’s addicted to fucking his fist and getting fucked in the head, so we toss him back and forth like the needy little slut that he is until his wee-little-brain is spinning.

Then we toss him around some more.

He doesn’t belong to me in the sense that there’s are other brats who’ve been training his weak ass for longer, and he does have a primary owner. But, on the other hand, when he’s on the phone with ME, his ass is owned, utterly, by my voice…well, that and the inflatable butt plug he likes to ride. He says he’ll call me back later tonight, and I’m keeping him to that promise, because he knows…deep down in his tight, filled-with-come-till-the-wanna-burst balls, that if he does not call me back, there will be consequences.

The clock is ticking.

Edited to add: And look, someone else is talking about the little jerk-off-addict monkey over here! LOL.

After over a week off of Niteflirt, your Princess, Obsession, Addiction, Goddess, and more will be available to take your calls this evening between 7pm and 11pm eastern time.

No touching it till then.

There’s small, there’s tiny, and then there’s micro. I almost feel sorrier for the small dicked guys. If you’ve got a micro-dick, three inches or under, I think you’re not even going to bother trying to use it as a dick. If it’s itty bitty….clit sized, pinky dick, most guys learn early on and come to understand their pathetic penises, don’t even bother. Or shouldn’t.

But the little dicked guys, 4-5 inches.. … you guys are just big enough to pull it out and in some sort of sad fog of sex addled delusion, expect the same sort of treatment as men with nice big (or even average sized) dicks. 4-5 inches is just… substandard. Most girls who haven’t yet learned to put their feet down and demand quality cock will put with with small dicks (not me, certainly) but in their hearts, they’re disappointed. When it gets harder, and gets to 4.5 inches and just stops….she has to stop herself from going awwwww, it’s so widdle.

Of course, at that point, she’s probably already going through her mental rolodex for a big dicked fuck buddy who can wash the depressing pencil dick experience of her head. But if you call me up and let me know how little your dick is, expect laughter. Expect princess to giggle, ridicule, make fun of and generally humiliate you for that substandard piece of equipment. And even though it’s half sized, it rules you just as much, if not more than a big cock does.

I don’t know what that’s all about, but it’s like the small penis guys are owned even more by their stubs, and in turn, their stubs are so much more owned by anyone willing to deign to pay attention to it, even if it is just to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Men are SO silly. *smirk* So very very silly.

Pull on your flannel sissy panties, and don your knitted stockings oh New York bitches, because it’s time to start your hike. Did my poor little pencil dicked cuckolds find their pee pees retracting into their bodies, little raisin balls shrinking as they trek across the Brooklyn Bridge?

My daily commute is a walk anyway, but I am extra grumpy and will be extra bitchy this evening when I talk to my little bitches. Watch out. Or, maybe you like that?

Stay warm, losers.

If you don’t know the story of Peter “halloween rapist” Braunstein, the fucking human garbage tricked his way into a woman’s Manhattan apartment on Halloween of this year, then sexually tortured her for hours. He’s been on the run ever since, and they just caught him. Good. That scum deserves to die, but first he deserves to have his nuts cut off with a rusty spoon.

I’m positively giddy with the prospect of the pain he’s going to endure in prison. The sooner he’s dropping the soap, the better.

Human scum arrested

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

I saw that another esteemed princess who shall, for the moment, remain nameless, was using the same fairly common wordpress theme. I’d been meaning to switch my blog for a while to a 3 column format and here we are, reaping the benefits.

Speaking of reaping, I’m going to be “reaping” some wallets this evening. A certain loser of mine has been whining for weeks about his squirty little stub of a tiny penis, and how it squirts as soon as his wife touches it (poor thing). I mean the wife.

So, since it’s been a bad little penis, I’ve decided that he’s going to have to train his little sissy pussy. Why bother touching that nasty little thing anyway (we’re talking 2 inches hard, max)? The little premature ejaculator is a compulsive little masturbator, and he’s bought 3 butt plugs of varying sizes for our session tonight. I doubt I’ll let him come while he’s on the phone with his humiliation princess. There may be some chair humping, but until he learns control (orgasm control to be precise) he’s not allowed to touch it at all.

If you’re very lucky, I might later tell you what I’m going to make him do to his panties.

Anyway, I’ll be working out the kinks with this new theme, and doing a little housekeeping on my tease and denial blog here. Try to keep from coming in your panties in the meantime.

I’m about to brave the cold, and I don’t WANT to go out, but sometimes a princess must do what a princess must do. When I get home this evening, I expect three things.

1. Some absolutely sinful take out. I’m not sure what I’ll order, but I’ve got over 50 menus in my drawer of “wonderful things princess puts in her mouth”. I’m licking my lips right now thinking about it. Down boy.
2. I expect one of my boyfriends to stop by and give me another reminder of why size does matter when it comes to, well, boyfriend things.
3. I expect those of you who own dildos and butt plugs to get them out, get them ready, and for you to say, “I’m ready for my butt training, princess,” when you call me tonight. I will be available between 7pm and midnight EST, so no touching until then. If you’re afraid you might not get your call in with princess, be a smart little addict and make an appointment with princess.

   Until then, there will be no touching of your weiner. I’ll know. Yes, that means stop the touching now.

Small Penis Humiliation Definition

I’m going to bed now. I’ve had enough of watching the news people not know the story about the transit strike tomorrow. This princess may very well stay home in bed. And if this stupidity continues through the weekend, I may well visit my wrath upon you, so watch out you little gluttons for punishment. If you come looking for cruelty, I may just rip you a new one, so be careful what you wish for.

Whiny little dicked losers get my particular wrath this weekend, so if you come crawlling to me for small penis humiliation, be prepared for utter disgust.

Also, to the sweetie brit I spoke to earlier this evening, next time, I’m going to have to make you sit on my strap on, aren’t I? And I’ll expect to hear far more begging in that adorable accent.

I’ve been busy. I still am busy. I decided to take a little time to speak to the piggies, and it’s funny how excited you are that I updated. It is cold here. It is icky, yucky, icy cold, with freezing rain and a pending fucking transit strike.

Fucking working class. Whatever. It’s not like I wasn’t going to take a cab, but getting a cab will be more annoying. I’ll probably end up calling a car service. One of you boys feel like paying for it right now, I know you do.

You know what to do, and how to call your princess, don’t you?

I’ve had more than a few new toys call me lately, and I suspect some of them have ambled over to this blog. Welcome to your new addiction.

And if you don’t know how to call? Just click here or go click on the princess feet you see right now, like a good little piggy and get the free account. Joining is free, worshipping at my altar is not, but you’ll figure that out, won’t you bitch bois?

Other homework (including those private little tasks we talked about) includes Voting for your Princess Now. And writing down princess’ phone number and extension right now. Get a pen and something to write on. And with all capital letters, write PRINCESS LAURAL. Then, on the next line, 1 - 800 - TO - FLIRT x 0434908. Then tuck it in your wallet for later.

If Princess Laural is not available, you are to call the best phone sex domme around, Princess Mandy. Tell her Laural said hi. She’s a fucking bitch, and you know that I mean that in the very best of ways.

I thought I’d share the praises my little bitches have shared lately. Try not to come in your panties if you recognize your own accolades for your phone tease denial princess here.

10/28/05 “Princess Laural was simply awesome. She knew what I needed immediately and delivered a heck of a call. Unfortunately, I prematurely exploded. I hope that she will forgive me and accept another call from me again. She is well worth your time and money. “

10/20/05 ” not only is she good but she is incredibly intelligent and manipulative “

10/05 “ran out of time but controled me like the little boy i am “
No cookie for you, stupid loser. 5 stars is the only acceptable rating for your princess, or were you too stupid from all the come I drained from you? You’re on very very thin ice with this princess

9/5/05 “As another weak-minded male who couldn’t resist temptation, I was again put in my place by this powerful young woman, making me feel smaller and weaker than ever. “
That’s from one of my weakest willed little pig boys. LOL

All of this feedback is real and easily viewable when you get on the ball and join Niteflirt like a good little bitch