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There’s this slutty little piece of jerkoff monkey ass that me and a couple of my phone sex brat friends like to pass around (he’s like that slutty cheerleader who wants to get gangbanged by the whole varsity team, only he’s a dude, and he wants it in his ass and the brain instead of the pussy). The best part is…he’s addicted to fucking his fist and getting fucked in the head, so we toss him back and forth like the needy little slut that he is until his wee-little-brain is spinning.

Then we toss him around some more.

He doesn’t belong to me in the sense that there’s are other brats who’ve been training his weak ass for longer, and he does have a primary owner. But, on the other hand, when he’s on the phone with ME, his ass is owned, utterly, by my voice…well, that and the inflatable butt plug he likes to ride. He says he’ll call me back later tonight, and I’m keeping him to that promise, because he knows…deep down in his tight, filled-with-come-till-the-wanna-burst balls, that if he does not call me back, there will be consequences.

The clock is ticking.

Edited to add: And look, someone else is talking about the little jerk-off-addict monkey over here! LOL.

I’ve joined forces with a number of other fabulous dominant phone goddesses at a great site called Phone Sex Brats. When I’m not available, you need to go over there and see the rest of the best. Seriously…I wouldn’t get together with girls who didn’t know how to play with men’s minds, and these girls….

I almost hesitate to point you in their direction, because I know it’ll only reinforce your addiction, then I remember, oh right…you’re a jerk-off monkey anyway! Why not point you at the good stuff.

So go visit my sisters. Click Here right the fuck now

Get a pen, or better yet a sharpie.

Don’t bother getting paper.

Write this number down. 1-800-908-5975

That’s how you call me, now. If I’m not on, there are a select few other princesses who will pimp your ass out when I’m too busy with real men.

Go look at the other Pricktease Princess Babes who know how to control your cock. And if I’m not available, you need to call one of them. Understand?

Good.

After over a week off of Niteflirt, your Princess, Obsession, Addiction, Goddess, and more will be available to take your calls this evening between 7pm and 11pm eastern time.

No touching it till then.

There’s small, there’s tiny, and then there’s micro. I almost feel sorrier for the small dicked guys. If you’ve got a micro-dick, three inches or under, I think you’re not even going to bother trying to use it as a dick. If it’s itty bitty….clit sized, pinky dick, most guys learn early on and come to understand their pathetic penises, don’t even bother. Or shouldn’t.

But the little dicked guys, 4-5 inches.. … you guys are just big enough to pull it out and in some sort of sad fog of sex addled delusion, expect the same sort of treatment as men with nice big (or even average sized) dicks. 4-5 inches is just… substandard. Most girls who haven’t yet learned to put their feet down and demand quality cock will put with with small dicks (not me, certainly) but in their hearts, they’re disappointed. When it gets harder, and gets to 4.5 inches and just stops….she has to stop herself from going awwwww, it’s so widdle.

Of course, at that point, she’s probably already going through her mental rolodex for a big dicked fuck buddy who can wash the depressing pencil dick experience of her head. But if you call me up and let me know how little your dick is, expect laughter. Expect princess to giggle, ridicule, make fun of and generally humiliate you for that substandard piece of equipment. And even though it’s half sized, it rules you just as much, if not more than a big cock does.

I don’t know what that’s all about, but it’s like the small penis guys are owned even more by their stubs, and in turn, their stubs are so much more owned by anyone willing to deign to pay attention to it, even if it is just to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Men are SO silly. *smirk* So very very silly.

Pull on your flannel sissy panties, and don your knitted stockings oh New York bitches, because it’s time to start your hike. Did my poor little pencil dicked cuckolds find their pee pees retracting into their bodies, little raisin balls shrinking as they trek across the Brooklyn Bridge?

My daily commute is a walk anyway, but I am extra grumpy and will be extra bitchy this evening when I talk to my little bitches. Watch out. Or, maybe you like that?

Stay warm, losers.

Princess is a huge fan of the man’s films, and Kill Bill ranks up there as one of her favorite films of all time, so it follows that even I, even your glorious princess might be momentarily shy if confronted with the self appointed “foot fucking master”. Note, as the blokes on Defamer point out, the lack of hyphen. Foot fucking is an entirely different branch of foot fetish. Laural prefers that her pretty princess toes be worshipped. She demands it, actually.

Meanwhile, here I sit, twiddling my thumbs and hoping that one of you boys will entertain me when I get home tonight. Who can be the silliest piggy? We shall see. Also? I FUCKING HATE FINALS SO MUCH!!!!!

Now is the time when Princess Laural takes a deep breath and feels all the love and affection her worshippers are now aiming her way.

Tarantino to judge some sort of foot beauty contest

Let’s see how this podcast goes, shall we? I have a question for all you boys….

The real thing? So much better. So give me something to laugh at.

Good morning bitches, or should I say afternoon? Princess Laural doesn’t get her shapely bum out of bed before noon on weekends for anyone, even someone as delicious as this stud. Did you just feel your wee-wee shrink? I thought so. Yes, I am aware that many of you are thinking about sucking his cock, sissy cocksuckers that you are.

So, if you are thinking of worshipping his much huger cock, get out of your chair, scoot back, and give your cock one, and only one stroke. Then bring your hand up to your face, smell the dick, put your stub back in your pants, and keep reading.

So, anyway, the tease princess videos in question are the videos OF your very favorite pricktease princess. ME. I’ve got some great Netflix for this weekend. 40-Year-Old Virgin, Control Room and South Park Season 5, disc one, including the one that has them saying “shit” approximately 200 times during the episode.

Meanwhile, I may or may not be picking up the phone to tease you poor pathetic losers until your balls turn blue/purple and your relentless erection is weeping for me. You may even cry for your cruel mistress, if I am especially mean to your small penis. Or maybe you will endure a little sensual domination, should the mood strike me. Hell, we may even just chat about these movies. Special “princess property” points to the first piggy who scrambles to the computer and mails the princess to ask for the privledge of buying the South Park season 5 for Princess Laural.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

I saw that another esteemed princess who shall, for the moment, remain nameless, was using the same fairly common wordpress theme. I’d been meaning to switch my blog for a while to a 3 column format and here we are, reaping the benefits.

Speaking of reaping, I’m going to be “reaping” some wallets this evening. A certain loser of mine has been whining for weeks about his squirty little stub of a tiny penis, and how it squirts as soon as his wife touches it (poor thing). I mean the wife.

So, since it’s been a bad little penis, I’ve decided that he’s going to have to train his little sissy pussy. Why bother touching that nasty little thing anyway (we’re talking 2 inches hard, max)? The little premature ejaculator is a compulsive little masturbator, and he’s bought 3 butt plugs of varying sizes for our session tonight. I doubt I’ll let him come while he’s on the phone with his humiliation princess. There may be some chair humping, but until he learns control (orgasm control to be precise) he’s not allowed to touch it at all.

If you’re very lucky, I might later tell you what I’m going to make him do to his panties.

Anyway, I’ll be working out the kinks with this new theme, and doing a little housekeeping on my tease and denial blog here. Try to keep from coming in your panties in the meantime.